


How to Piss Off Your Boyfriend

by Blueismybusiness



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Humor, M/M, Pissed off Lovers, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 17:49:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13416441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueismybusiness/pseuds/Blueismybusiness
Summary: Akaashi doesn't like being spanked. Tsukishima doesn't like sharing his business. Bokuto and Kuroo should know better by now.





	How to Piss Off Your Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> There was a pic I once saw on the interwebs where the foursome lived next door to each other. Akaashi and Tsukki stood in their respective doorways while Bokuto and Kuroo knelt before them in supplication. Kuroo had even given Tsukki a slice of strawberry shortcake to bolster his apology. I love that pic. It didn't inspire this fic but I thought of it as I went to post it and it felt relevant. Anyway, this is my attempt at humor, and my first BokuAka/KuroTsukki fic. Enjoy the stupidity. BTW, it's un-beta'd.
> 
> BIMB :)

It was right there. So pretty, plump, and creamy. It was free of blemishes and so so smooth. Bokuto palmed the two round, solid cheeks in front of him; his boyfriend on elbows and knees, perfect ass in the air.

Akaashi whimpered when Bokuto’s calloused hands grabbed him. 

“Kōkun...stop teasing,” Akaashi purred, green eyes gazing at him over a shoulder framed in long, thick, dark lashes.

Bokuto groaned, his boyfriend was so pretty. He was tall and muscular, body sculpted by hard work, and so wonderfully perfect it’s likeness should be captured in marble.

But Akaashi’s ass. His ass was Bokuto’s addiction—his own personal drug. Bokuto loved nothing more than when Akaashi was bent over, ass up and grinding against him. He grabbed it again, then leaned over to bite one cheek, not hard but enough to leave a mark. Akaashi yelped, then moaned when Bokuto kissed over the spot with gentleness and love before rising back up. Akaashi pressed back against his hard cock, Bokuto’s length slipping between warm cheeks and teasing against Akaashi’s hole. Both groaned with the contact.

“Kōkun…” Akaashi crooned.

Bokuto chuckled and ran his strong fingers up Akaashi’s thighs until he could grasp a cheek in each hand, a perfect fit. He used his thumbs to spread Akaashi, leaning in and using his tongue to lick a firm stripe from his boyfriend’s balls to his tailbone. Akaashi keened, his voice cracking.

“K-Kōtarō!”

Bokuto pulled back, staring at the perfection that was Akaashi’s ass. He massaged the meat in his palms, the muscles flexing as Akaashi panted.

It was right there.

Bokuto growled, giving in to his baser impulse. Rearing his hand back (before he could consider his actions) he brought his palm down _hard_ , the resounding _SMACK_ ringing throughout their bedroom.

For a moment—the briefest of seconds—silence ruled. Neither breathed, and no words were exchanged, while Bokuto’s large, angry red handprint glowed against Akaashi’s porcelain skin in the pale yellow light of the lamp beside the bed. Then, just like the scene of a horror movie, Akaashi slowly turned his head, his green eyes wide with disbelief, betrayal, pain, and fury, and his mouth stretched in a wide circle while his eyebrows knit together.

“ **OOOWWW!** ”

The tension broke.

“Oh. My. God! Keiji! I’m so sorry!” Bokuto pleaded, rushing to move back, cowering in the face of his boyfriend’s wrath.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, BOKUTO?!” Akaashi screamed as he flipped himself over and winced.

“I’m so sorry, Keiji! I swear, I don’t know what came over me! Your ass was just so perfect, and begging for it, and I couldn’t stop myself!” Bokuto tried to explain as Akaashi’s green eyes darkened like a category 4 hurricane about to hit land. Bokuto leaned toward his boyfriend, wanting to comfort him. He stretched out his hand, still pleading forgiveness, “I swear, Akaashi, I thought you’d like it!”

Akaashi schooled his face back to its neutral expression, but his eyes still screamed murder. “What would make you think I would want to be spanked? Especially by you?” He asked, his voice calm but cold. “Do you have any idea how hard you hit, Bokuto-san?”

Bokuto swallowed thickly, “H-hard…?” His voice was only a shadow of the loud baritone it usually was. He knew he was in trouble when Akaashi addressed him formally.

“Yes, Bokuto-san... _hard_.”

For a moment they just stared at each other. Well, Akaashi glared at Bokuto who gazed back, fully chastised.

“I promise it won’t happen again,” Bokotu apologized, smiling sheepishly at his boyfriend.

Akaashi regarded him for another second before replying, “Mm.”

Then he slid off the bed and pulled on his underwear before heading out of their bedroom and toward the bathroom.

“Keiji, wait, aren’t we gonna finish? I’m still hard,” Bokuto pleaded after his boyfriend, tripping as he scrambled off the bed to follow.

“Not my problem, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s entire countenance collapsed as he realized he has successfully and completely squashed the mood. It wasn’t unusual for him to do something dumb in the moment and strain the atmosphere, but Akaashi was adept enough, used to his quirks, and learned to navigate them. With a word, a look, or some tiny action, he could usually deflate the awkwardness and carry on. Apparently, Bokuto had overstepped a boundary that even Akaashi wasn’t willing to come back from. Oops.

“AKAAAASHI!” Bokuto whined, his shoulders dropping, dejected. His mood dropped as suddenly as the temperature in the arctic on an especially cold day. Akaashi just ignored him and continued his trek to the bathroom with a slight limp. Bokuto trailed him, still complaining and pleading forgiveness until Akaashi entered the bathroom, promptly slamming the door in Bokuto’s face.

“AKAAASHI, baby, c’mon! I’m sorry! Don’t hate me!”

“I don’t hate you, Bokuto-san. Now please go away,” came his muffled reply.

No matter how Bokuto begged, Akaashi ignored him.

 

**~O~**

 

Kuroo’s cell vibrated beside him on the table next to the couch where he sat, curled up with his boyfriend, Tsukki. He craned his neck to look over his shoulder to see Bokuto’s name pop up on the screen.

“Who is it?” Tsukki inquired, his tone irritated as the inconvenient phone call interrupted the very interesting documentary they were watching.

“Ah, it’s just Bokuto,” he replied, grinning, “he’s probably done something to piss off Akaashi again.”

Tsukki snorted, not taking his eyes off the screen.

Kuroo untangled himself from his boyfriend’s long limbs so he could reach his phone. He swiped his thumb across the screen. As the call connected, Bokuto’s panicked screaming filled the room, nearly blowing his speakers.

“KUROO, BRO, HELP ME!”

Kuroo chuckled, the situation so familiar it was hilarious. “Bro, calm down and tell me what happened,” he cooed, trying to placate his buddy.

“I SPANKED AKAASHI AND NOW HE WON’T COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM!”

Bokuto’s panicked words poured out of the phone, his voice loud enough Tsukki could hear every syllable. That’s probably why, as soon as he finished speaking, Tsukki burst into witch-like cackling, curling up uncomfortably on Kuroo’s lap, his whole body heaving with the force of his mirth. Kuroo was having a difficult time himself holding back his own chuckles, not wanting to find humor at his friend’s expense.

“Bo... _snort_ ...you... _hee hee_ ...o-okay sorry... _snort cough_...you d-didn’t…?”

“Bro. This is not funny,” Bokuto’s tone was serious, the low, threatening rumble ineffectual as Kuroo lost all restraint and howled his laughter.

“ _BRO-O!_ ” Bokuto whine, and Kuroo could imagine the pout on his owlish face. He felt bad, he really did but his friend was just too much at times.

“Seriously, bro?! I’ll remember that the next time you talk Tsukishima into wearing a skirt and take pictures, and he stops fucking you for a week when he finds out!”

The phone beeped a moment later signaling the end of the phone call. However, Kuroo never noticed because all had gone silent in the small living room he shared with his beautiful, gorgeous boyfriend.

Kuroo put up placating hands, palms up and open as he slowly sat up. “Kei, before you freak out…”

Eyes the color of molten gold and as heated as the sun stared back at him from a stone cold face.

“I’m not going to freak out.”

Kuroo swallowed heavily as he waited for Tsukki to to deliver his death blow. Tsukki rose slowly from the couch.

“I hope you enjoy sleeping on the couch from here until the end of time, Tetsurō.” With that he strode into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

“Well, fuck,” Kuroo sighed.  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments always welcome. They give me meaning...or at least validate my reason for posting my crappy work. HAHA! *sigh*
> 
> BIMB :)


End file.
